While there are only a small number of GenXers left (sociologists estimate between two and three hundred) they actually spend more money than other generations. Most of this is due to the wise investment strategies implemented by GenXers, such as cryptocurrency. In this installment of “T and A Build Wealth” we will examine how you can get in on the failsafe money machine of cryptocurrency.
Hopefully you still have your pick ax from the excellent blog post “Simple Natural Spaghetti”. You will need it to mine Bitcoin. You will also need a blockchain, available at most Ace Hardware stores. This heavy weapon is used to hit bandits who might try to steal your coins. A gun also works, available from most teenagers (check local listings). But smashing a marauder in the face with a blockchain is more satisfying.
Where to Find Bitcoin
The Bitgenies hide the coins all over the place. It’s like that annoying Pokemon game that had kids walking around in your yard a few years ago. In fact, check your yard first. Dig a few holes with the pick ax. Move on to your neighbor’s yard. That dumbass probably buries his Bitcoins pretty close to the surface. Then move on to the more obvious public locations like highway medians, McDonald’s restrooms, national landmarks, and ghetto dumpsters. Look for signs that say, “Restricted Area”. That means they are hiding the most Bitcoins. Don’t be afraid to get arrested because there are plenty of Bitcoins hidden in holding cells.
Where to Keep Bitcoin
Once you find some bitcoins you can keep them in a handy satchel, like the one below. You can also send them to me and I will hold onto them for you. Just use Zelle or Zoomba or whatever.
Non Fungible Tokens
During the course of mining for Bitcoins you may come across some tokens. You might think, “Man I want to funge the shit out of that!” but you cannot. The token is non fungible. You can buy it drinks. You can flirt with it. You can even slap it on the ass metoo style if you are in a bar or your workplace and you are in a position of power. But you can’t funge the token. No means no.
What You Can Buy
There is no limit to what you can buy with Bitcoin. There are even some reputable stores that accept Bitcoin for legal items. But mostly Bitcoin is used for hookers, drugs, guns, you name it. Be your best you. Most things are available on the Dark Web, which is basically just Internet Prime. You will need a Toro. Use the USB port to connect the Toro to your computer and you are set.
The Dark Web is a creepy place that is only a little less dark and creepy than a real mall. The Dark Web is filled with degenerates, thieves, and criminals but a real mall is filled with GenZ and bad music.
You can also spend your cryptocurrency in the Metaverse. What is that? It is like reality but cleaner. We’ll get back to that in another post after I have time to Google it.
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