Welcome to Simply T & A!
Simply T and A is a lifestyle blog for Generation X. Surprise, other generations! We’re still here! Sure, we don’t show up in graphs anymore. But we did invent the terms “whatever” and “nevermind” for just this sort of occasion. Only putting Millennials and Baby Boomers on graphs? Whatever. Nevermind.
At Simply T and A we are dedicated to being classy. Real fucking classy. We’re not going to review some bottom-of-the-barrel box wine. We review mid-level box wines. And we use scientific methods such as the cost-to-buzz ratio to determine the true value.
We are influencers. Tens of people look to us to determine what they should wear, what they should eat, where they should go, and what they should own in order to be the most fashionable and cool GenXers. I have always wanted to be a social influencer, ever since I was 51. Now my weeks-long dream is coming true.
T and A are uniquely qualified for this endeavor as they have been GenXers since birth. They are pretentious enough to refer to each other by their first initial as well as referring to themselves in the third person (T: “Waiter, T does not eat mayo. Make that sandwich again.”; A: “Let it be known that A approves of the delicate blend of salt and crunchiness in CheezIts.”) Yet they are able to stoop to the most common levels of society with their exceptional humility, making them the greatest and most influential bloggers on the planet.
Some topics we will be covering:
Drinks
This is an important topic, not just for Generation X but for all mankind. Look forward to insightful descriptions, delightful recommendations, jaunty banter, and vicious fighting, depending on how much mid-level box wine we have consumed.
Dining
People say “you are what you eat”. What the hell does that mean? I’ve never eaten an ankle, yet I have two of them. Maybe some of you out there have eaten an ankle, which is why you need our incisive reviews of what and where you should be eating.
Clothing
Clothing is important because it is legally required when you are in public. Fashion is the lynchpin of the fashion industry. Without it, there would just be “industry”.
Entertainment
While everyone knows the only movie you should ever watch is The Martian, I will concede that other films have been made in the past. In fact, they are probably still making them today. There are also things like TV shows, music, and whatever people do to entertain themselves. Donkey rides or something. We’ll see.
Clubbing
Don’t. Clubbing is for teenagers with fake IDs. Once a person is in their 20s they are too old for clubbing. If you want to be sweaty, crowded, and annoyed go to Walmart. Buy more boxed wine while you are there. Oh, but your friends want to go clubbing? They are not your friends. Find new ones.
Products
T and A will provide you with must-read product reviews. When you see a link you need to click it and go buy that product. Then we get money. Everybody wins. Do you have any idea how expensive it is for us to run this enterprise? That’s not rhetorical. If someone knows, can they please tell me?
There are topics we will probably not cover. These include:
News
News is depressing and we are way too awesome to be depressed.
Politics
Likewise, political matters are really depressing and we will probably not be covering any. Meet the Press has that locked.
Subtopic not being covered here: Political correctness. While filling out a form the other day, I encountered the question “Preferred Pronouns”. I thought, “in, out, through, down” and then realized those are prepositions. They meant things like “he, she, it, you”. Is “you” a pronoun? What do I look like, a linguistitician? A vocabulator?
Children
We realize people have them but this is a lifestyle blog. Children are like an anti-lifestyle. Also, they become teenagers and say things like, “You are ruining my life! Fuck off! Can I have $40?” So we will keep focused on important things in life.
Who should be reading this blog? Everyone. And while one might say that nobody should read this, that one person is an idiot and I just mailed a turd to his house. (Not a human turd. Didn’t I just tell you we are fucking classy?) That’s right, One, I know where you live.
If you are a GenXer, you certainly should be reading this blog. Or don’t. Whatever.